Killer Meat-Eating Frogs Terrorize San Francisco

After he has killed what he assumes to be the last frog, Jeremy Fisher looks down at his yellow jumpsuit and realizes there is nasty frog blood all over it. Fog rises in the background and terrified bystanders emerge from their hiding places to see him there - sweating and breathing heavily. A thoughtful young woman visiting from Japan tosses him a "San Francisco" sweatshirt recently purchased at Fisherman's Wharf. He turns to catch it and something catches his eye. In his peripheral vision, he sees it: The Evil Frog King. A beast so hideous, so fearsome, so slimy..."Jeremy!" the Japanese girl screams as the frog’s long, sticky tongue snatches her from behind the rock where she was crouched in fear. Jeremy Fisher's nostrils flare and he yells to the Frog King, "Eat me, Toad." Insulted by Jeremy's common mistake of confusing the two amphibious species, the Frog King swallows the girl and then instantly devours Jeremy as well.

Is this the end for our hero Jeremy Fisher? Of course not. He slices through the belly of the Evil Frog King with his Samurai sword, and comes splashing out among tons of oozing fly corpses, and those of a few shorts-wearing, sunscreen coated tourists. The Frog King collapses in a steaming heap of Evil and Jeremy emerges, cradling the young Japanese woman in his arms.

Jane had been watching from a safe distance, and now comes running to Jeremy. She apologizes and professes her undying love for the hero whose heart she recently broke. He looks at Jane, and then at the slimy, unconscious girl in his arms. Before he can respond, cheering erupts from the park nearby - the entire city has come out to thank Jeremy Fisher for his miraculous act. Even Frank Chu took a break from his hectic protest schedule to make an appearance. Paramedics tend to the girl, and Jeremy Fisher tells Jane, ‘goodbye.’

The crowd parts and makes way for none other than Gavin Newsom. The Mayor took a break from pseudo-rehab to personally thank Jeremy Fisher and renamed the Golden Gate Bridge, The Jeremy Fisher Bridge. The crowd erupted in applause, and cameras flashed as Gavin shook the hero's hand. After answering several questions from the press such as 'So, what is with that Yellow Jumpsuit?' and 'What advice do you have for high school biology students who are struggling with the ethical dilemma of whether to dissect or not?', Jeremy's thoughts turned to the young Japanese girl. He stepped away from the cameras and reporters and made his way toward the ambulance. He arrived to see her awake and smiling on the gurney, and politely waited for his chance to talk to her while Mayor Gavin Newsom asked (unsuccessfully) for her phone number.

The world can now rest peacefully and everyone can return to following the Britney Spears rehab saga.

2 years later...

Jeremy Fisher is being wheeled onto a stage by his wife, Momoko (not the young Japanese girl from the incident, but her sister, whom Jeremy met at a family reunion and promptly left her for). Since what became known to all as "the day with the frogs," Jeremy has devoted his life to educating youth on the dangers of amphibians. He is restricted to a wheel chair after losing his right leg to a case of Gangrene resulting from prolonged exposure to toxic frog digestive juices. As the lights dim, the screen lights up with the title of his presentation, "Salamanders: Friend or Foe?" Jeremy Fisher clears his throat, sips a glass of water, and prepares to begin his speech. In the silence, from the back of the room, a faint noise is heard. He strains to make out the sound, but it is too soft. It gets louder. Ribbit!(cut to black screen, and roll credits).