News: March 2007 Archives

According to this AP article, a high school wrestling coach has been reprimanded by the State of Oregon for biting a student. Yes, biting. He left "distinctive teethmarks" according to the article. Why would a coach/teacher bite a student, you ask? Well, it seems the wrestling team was attempting to give him a wedgie. Yes, a wedgie. In case you have been hiding under a rock for the past century, please see the following description as described on Wikipedia.



The Wedgie is a joke maneuver or prank performed to humiliate someone. It is inflicted when an individual, or group of individuals, grab the underwear of the victim from behind and pull up, causing the underwear to wedge between the buttocks. A wedgie is also what happens when a person's undergarments get bunched up and "ride up" between the buttocks, causing discomfort and annoyance. This can be caused by bad posture, awkward sitting or tight underpants. (On the other hand, thongs are, essentially, designed to be wedged between the buttock. However, a wedgie while wearing a thong is extremely difficult to rectify, due to the garment's slender nature)

What is the appropriate defensive tactic when being attacked by a mob of high school kids intent on giving you a wedgie, anyway? I can't say I blame the guy, but also understand the State can't really condone the behavior.

Those of us who remember the show "Salute Your Shorts" on Nickelodeon know that a wedgie is not nearly as bad as a "Melvin."

Nope...it's not a joke, or a bad horror movie. Carnivorous frogs are seriously invading San Francisco!

Somehow, African Clawed Frogs found their way into Lily Pond in golden gate park. They have upset the ecosystem and killed most of the animals the species normally preys on...and now they're eating each other. Cannibal frogs. I can hardly keep a straight face. One of the ideas in the San Francisco Chronicle article was to introduce a natural predator. Unfortunately, the only one they could come up with was the crocodile.

Personally, I think the solution involves Samuel L. Jackson. They could film the whole event and call it "Frogs on a Bridge." Maybe the frogs take over the Golden Gate Bridge and prey on tourists, and the only one who can save the City is the guy who was on the bridge getting ready to jump (played by Mr. Jackson, of course). His name is Jeremy Fisher (ironically, also the name of the title character in Beatrix Potter's children's story about a frog who doesn't die when he should have), and he is upset because he was dumped by his girlfriend Jane (played by Halle Berry). But when he sees the tourists fleeing for their lives, he forgets his personal troubles and realizes that he is their only hope. As they attack, he starts killing the frogs - one at a time at first, then several with one swoop of his Samurai sword. It's a Hitori Hanzo - he had it with him just in case he survived the jump and there were sharks in the Bay below.